Any World (That I'm Welcome To)

I dropped off the face of the earth for a few weeks due to busyness and a wicked cold that made staring at a computer seem like torture (also I was so out of it that I could not find things that were literally pinned to me). I'll be catching up on comments... uh, mostly next week, since I will be traveling. Oops.

In penance, here is one for the "I can't believe this exists" files: Chief Operator, a music video about the importance of traffic safety.

As sung by Elvis. And, a couple of minutes in, as rapped by The Lawman. Both of whom are actual police officers, according to the credits. (Their police chief plays bass guitar.)

If those random anti-piracy Klingons that 4thofeleven discovered ever teamed up with Elvis here, I think the universe might break.

So, while watching the speed skaters and... really fast skiers, whatever their sport is called... I started wondering about their sports outfit technology. Specifically, if you're wearing a skin-tight bodysuit for skating or skiiing, what kind of underwear do you wear? "None" doesn't seem like a comfortable option the way it might for swimming, but I didn't see any panty lines on those guys. Maybe if I were a sports person I would know these things.

In other random news, my mom got me what looks like a normal wooden ruler, until you turn it over and find a list of Great Women Rulers. Hee! I'm going to have to look some of them up, too - I know Hatshepsut and Elizabeth I, but Mbande Nzinga of Angola is new to me.

An integrated-curriculum unit on an Agatha Christie story has all sorts of great educational possibilities, as this page shows. However, I am not convinced of the wisdom of this particular suggestion:

In Industrial Arts a student can make a “stiletto.”

As in, the kind you use to murder someone, not the kind you hobble around in. This is for middle schoolers. There is no way this could go wrong AT ALL.

Headmaster: No Vampires at Our School

Oh, children.

Okay, not confirmed, but still awesome: Obama knows Internet catchphrases?

Also, look just above that comment for a link to a picture of Baby Barack in a pirate costume.

Orange peel. Popcorn. Cottage cheese. Weird when you think about it. (But it does look like cottage cheese...) Anyway, I've been doing some renovations, including helping scrape ceilings. Painting starts today. That's why I've vanished!

Euphemistic job title of the month: I thought I had spotted that rare species, the male receptionist (in the same week that I saw no fewer than three male librarians!), but no. According to his nameplate, he is a Director of First Impressions. Does this mean I can legitimately call myself Grand Vizier to Her Majesty, Our Beloved Empress of Libraria?

Okay, maybe if I only link to a single entry of Hello, Hedonism and state that I only support visits to this single entry rather than the entire blog...

Anyway, I am getting obsessed with the quirky things they have on this blog. The latest is a pair of presidential candidate music videos. One involves hot girls singing and dancing in the streets, some for Obama and some for Giuliani. As the site says, "you’ll find yourself singing “Giuliani for pre-si-dent/ Obama gotta re-pres-ent” for HOURS." The other is a single hot girl singing a love song to Hillary.

Now, hot girls singing about how presidential candidates make them hot is a little disturbing, but it also makes a good satirical point: you often hear about candidates "courting" voters and "wooing" the public, right? And we all know that the tall guy wins, the better-looking guy wins, interns can be for the president's personal as well as political use, etc. This just takes that and says, "Fine, you're wooing us and trying to look good on TV for us? Then we'll respond to that." It's no coincidence that the first video asks you to check out their site, barelypolitical.com.

Also, the Obama/Giuliani song is damn catchy.

More miscellaneous links:

A summary (with scans) of a comic wherein Batman and Superman spend the night at the Fortress of Solitude comforting each other. Includes alien worms penetrating each other. No, this is not a fan comic. What did these guys they think they were writing?

Titles We Have Known lists the ten most common titles on submissions this publication has gotten in the past year. Things like "Waiting" and "Remember" I can see, but "Butterfly"? "Smoke"?

I wonder how long until someone submits a story with all ten in the title as a joke? I'm thinking, "While Waiting for That Reunion at Work, Remember the Revelation of the Smoke Butterfly of Grace You Had as a Voyeur With Insomnia."

Last night, my family decided to watch Sideways. I'd never seen the movie. Actually, I still haven't seen the whole thing, because it just isn't my kind of movie, but I still got some entertainment out of the parts I did watch.

( For instance, if I drank, I would now have the best drinking game ever. )

Just had a giant graduation party with family members I haven't seen in years. And a friend came from out of town, so yay!

Anyway, today's Errant Story made me laugh.

Meji: ...So, um... you're Jon's long lost estranged sister, who's been turned into an emotionless magic ninja assassin by some secret order of monks hidden in the mountains...

Sara: ...Yes.

Meji: That's... like, really, kinda freaking stupid, if you don't mind me saying. And I thought your brother's whole 'hitman with a troubled past and a heart of gold' bit was bad.

Ellis: Yeah, and this is coming from a magic using, half-elven heiress with unusual hair and eye colors, and a talking animal companion... so that's really saying something there.

Home Depot thinks 'Lorem Ipsum' is Spanish. Good one, guys. You couldn't ask one of your employees' kids to ask their Spanish teacher?

Sweden disapproves of naming children after bands. It seems odd to me that the Tax Board can refuse to register a name it doesn't like. Is it trademark infringement? Even more peculiarly, they also object to it because it is associated with the word "metal." Do they not have the equivalent of names like Summer, River, Autumn, Crystal, Rose, etc. in Sweden, or are only certain words allowed to be used as names? Which words and why? Could you name a child just plain "Metal" in Sweden?

Of course, I come from a country in which at least three people have legally changed their names to Obi-Wan Kenobi (one getting approval despite having the not-so-"good and sufficient" reason of wanting to win $1000 in a contest), so maybe I shouldn't talk.