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Magic, duh
Aug. 25th, 2012 02:02 pmRandom entertainment for the weekend: "I'm a potions master and a double agent. Of course I had a backup plan."
How Harry Potter Should Have Ended
How Harry Potter Should Have Ended
Ten ways to derail the Harry Potter series
Nov. 9th, 2008 10:47 am1. Dumbledore arrives too late to pull Quirrelmort off Harry. Alas.
2. Harry arrives in the Chamber of Secrets to find Ginny looking scared, but otherwise fine, with the torn-up diary in her hands and no memory of how she arrived. The basilisk lies dead nearby with not a mark on it. As Harry turns to lead Ginny back to the fallen rocks, he misses the brief red gleam in her eyes...
3. Crookshanks catches Scabbers. *NOM NOM NOM*
4. Peter is on his way to Albania when he decides, "Sod this, if I can get to Albania I can get to Argentina. I'll transfigure my hair to be full and thick, set myself up as an accountant for a wealthy rancher, and live fat and happy."
5. At the annual start-of-term staff meeting, Severus keeps bringing up all these little student infractions from last year, on and on and on, and unfortunately, Barty's hip flask isn't full enough to cover him for that long. Damn that Severus. Knew he was looking at me funny earlier. It's almost as if the man can read minds.
6. Fake!Moody is in the middle of his first lecture on the Unforgivable Curses when Dumbledore bursts in and disarms him, followed by the real Moody. (What, you think someone that paranoid wouldn't make sure he had several ways to escape from his own trunk? Please. He was just waiting until he got to Hogwarts to spring himself.)
7. Cedric reaches Cup while Harry is still off with the skrewts and goes off to the graveyard alone.
8. During the summer before fifth year, Harry gets packed off to Azkaban for the murder of Cedric Diggory.
9. Draco turns out to be handier than anyone knew and fixes the cabinet by October. Harry never even hears the word "Horcrux" before Dumbledore goes flying off the Astronomy Tower.
10. Dumbledore gives Harry the whole Pensieve tour at the beginning of sixth year, teaches him the ways he knows to disarm and destroy Horcruxes, and they go Horcrux-hunting every weekend after. By Christmas, they've rounded them all up (and caught Draco in the RoR while they were at it; in fine Hogwarts tradition, he gets detention). Snape AKs Voldemort at the next meeting just as Scrimgeour leads the Aurors in to capture the Death Eaters. "But sir," Harry asks, "what will I do next year? Study?" "Ah," Dumbledore says, "I'm afraid next year will no longer be any of your concern. You see, there is one final Horcrux I forgot to mention..."
2. Harry arrives in the Chamber of Secrets to find Ginny looking scared, but otherwise fine, with the torn-up diary in her hands and no memory of how she arrived. The basilisk lies dead nearby with not a mark on it. As Harry turns to lead Ginny back to the fallen rocks, he misses the brief red gleam in her eyes...
3. Crookshanks catches Scabbers. *NOM NOM NOM*
4. Peter is on his way to Albania when he decides, "Sod this, if I can get to Albania I can get to Argentina. I'll transfigure my hair to be full and thick, set myself up as an accountant for a wealthy rancher, and live fat and happy."
5. At the annual start-of-term staff meeting, Severus keeps bringing up all these little student infractions from last year, on and on and on, and unfortunately, Barty's hip flask isn't full enough to cover him for that long. Damn that Severus. Knew he was looking at me funny earlier. It's almost as if the man can read minds.
6. Fake!Moody is in the middle of his first lecture on the Unforgivable Curses when Dumbledore bursts in and disarms him, followed by the real Moody. (What, you think someone that paranoid wouldn't make sure he had several ways to escape from his own trunk? Please. He was just waiting until he got to Hogwarts to spring himself.)
7. Cedric reaches Cup while Harry is still off with the skrewts and goes off to the graveyard alone.
8. During the summer before fifth year, Harry gets packed off to Azkaban for the murder of Cedric Diggory.
9. Draco turns out to be handier than anyone knew and fixes the cabinet by October. Harry never even hears the word "Horcrux" before Dumbledore goes flying off the Astronomy Tower.
10. Dumbledore gives Harry the whole Pensieve tour at the beginning of sixth year, teaches him the ways he knows to disarm and destroy Horcruxes, and they go Horcrux-hunting every weekend after. By Christmas, they've rounded them all up (and caught Draco in the RoR while they were at it; in fine Hogwarts tradition, he gets detention). Snape AKs Voldemort at the next meeting just as Scrimgeour leads the Aurors in to capture the Death Eaters. "But sir," Harry asks, "what will I do next year? Study?" "Ah," Dumbledore says, "I'm afraid next year will no longer be any of your concern. You see, there is one final Horcrux I forgot to mention..."
