okay but are we sure these aren't canon

[sunnyskywalker]

The Harry Potter comics on floccinaucinihilipilification are probably technically jokes but I feel like they capture the truth about Hogwarts better than most serious takes. For example...

From Lupin's first day teaching:

MCGONAGALL: ...finally someone good with children, who knows what he's doing

LUPIN: Hey kids. Who wants to be the first to look into the trauma closet

Much more succinct than my version!

From Lockhart's terrible job interview:

MCGONAGALL: Aw, Albus you are giving everybody a chance

DUMBLEDORE: I hope Harry kills this one too

Tell me this wasn't Dumbledore's actual plan.

And those memories of Dumbledore casually telling Snape to keep an eye on Quirrell and claiming Harry had to fight murderers and monsters every year to "try his strength" (which is a hell of a euphemism for "to get used to the idea of dying young") while Snape objects that Dumbledore's plans are actually deeply cruel make staff meetings like this one seem all too plausible:

DUMBLEDORE: Last school year was a bit stressful with all the soul sucking demons maybe we should do something nice for the students this year

MCGONAGALL: Aww

DUMBLEDORE: Let's invite some other schools and battle them and make them think that we drowned their family members and stuff

SNAPE: Or we invest in a school therapist
SNAPE: Or stop sending them into the murder forest as punishment
SNAPE: Or sex ed

I mean, I don't think the wizarding world has school therapists (maybe not any therapists?), and the idea of Snape and McGonagall teaching sex ed might be hilarious for us readers but is not an ordeal we should probably be wishing on the characters. But the general spirit...yeah.

Comments

[mary_j_59]

So funny! Did I ever tell you our Mom, on seeing the first movie, pegged Dumbledore as a bad guy because he did not protect the children in his care? She was a smart woman!

[sunnyskywalker]

She was definitely noticing the right things! It's amazing how close the series comes to making that work properly. It probably wouldn't have taken more than a few tweaks along the way and some bigger ones in the final book to make us all go, "Wow, the clues were there in plain sight all this time! Such brilliant planning, and a masterful example of how conditioned we are to believe authority figures as long as everyone else says they're good guys and they give us candy."