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sunnyskywalkerWe all have those little things which jerk us out of a book or movie, yelling, "But it doesn't work like that!" It's all the more frustrating because while sometimes the plot absolutely relies on it working wrong, other times the story could probably be improved with a little realism. Take a couple of my pet peeves, for example:
1) Those easy-escape duct systems
Our Heroes are trapped in a room, but lo! There is a duct! Which is large enough for a fully-grown man to crawl through, and strong enough to hold his weight. Right. Okay, show of hands: who has ever looked at real ductwork? Too small even for a child and flimsy to boot, at least in any building I've ever seen. A mechanical engineer I know agrees it would have to be a pretty fucking huge building to warrant a man-sized duct, and that still wouldn't solve the problem of it being constructed of flimsy sheets of metal.
But they have to escape, right? Well, if you must have a man-sized duct, you still usually need some complicating factor to make the escape more exciting, so why not have the duct break beneath them as soon as they get to the next open patch of ceiling, dumping them into the next room? Into a handy storeroom, or the Laboratory of Diabolical Plots, or onto the Conference Table for Discussing Diabolical Plots, maybe. Or, if their captors are dumb enough to put them in a room with a man-sized duct, why couldn't they instead be dumb enough to put them in a room with a drop ceiling? (Maybe they're in a hurry, don't usually have prisoners, and don't think about the ceiling much for that reason.) Just have Our Heroes crawl over the rafters instead. And then maybe they find that someone decided to move some walls around without consulting a structural engineer, and has sawed through some important supports without sistering them properly, and so yet again we go tumbling onto the conference table...
On a side note, why aren't there more contractor heroes? They would know all sorts of handy McGuyvering skills, and where to punch the wall so everything falls down, and they would have a built-in team of sidekicks with their subs (It's Wiring Woman! Run!). Plus, your contractor can look like this and still be true to life, which should make media executives happy. And some real-life contractors are like contractor superheroes, saving Canada from renovations gone wrong.
...okay, I'll stop babbling now.
2) Those magic lighter-activated fire sprinklers
Our Hero stands on a chair and holds a lighter up to a single fire sprinkler, causing every single fire sprinkler in the building to start gushing water. Uh-huh. Actually, at least in these parts, fire sprinklers are designed not to turn on their neighbors: only the sprinkler heated past a certain temperature will activate. Furthermore, unless your lighter puts out enough heat to fuse a little link at around 150F or so (depending on the specific type of installation), you're SOL.
This could be a lot of fun. Our Heroes, expecting things to work like the movies, whip out a chair and a lighter... and are standing there looking like idiots as the bad guys run up. Then they get captured, or run like hell and have an amusing escape anyway, or whatever.
Or maybe they know a bit and have a blowtorch. If they're only trying to turn on specific sprinklers, they can do so and make cracks about how lucky they are not to be stuck with nothing but a lighter. If they're still expecting it to turn on every sprinkler in the building, they can be comically surprised when they're the only ones who get wet.
Or maybe they know exactly how it's supposed to work, but some fool has rigged things so every sprinkler goes off. Now they're responsible for a lot of water damage they didn't intend, and possibly in ways which might hinder their escape - during which they can be yelling, "But that's not how it works! Who does that!" Meanwhile, Evil Inc.'s CEO is cackling and handing his pet contractor a bag of money...
What are your pet peeves, and how would you change them while keeping the drama?
1) Those easy-escape duct systems
Our Heroes are trapped in a room, but lo! There is a duct! Which is large enough for a fully-grown man to crawl through, and strong enough to hold his weight. Right. Okay, show of hands: who has ever looked at real ductwork? Too small even for a child and flimsy to boot, at least in any building I've ever seen. A mechanical engineer I know agrees it would have to be a pretty fucking huge building to warrant a man-sized duct, and that still wouldn't solve the problem of it being constructed of flimsy sheets of metal.
But they have to escape, right? Well, if you must have a man-sized duct, you still usually need some complicating factor to make the escape more exciting, so why not have the duct break beneath them as soon as they get to the next open patch of ceiling, dumping them into the next room? Into a handy storeroom, or the Laboratory of Diabolical Plots, or onto the Conference Table for Discussing Diabolical Plots, maybe. Or, if their captors are dumb enough to put them in a room with a man-sized duct, why couldn't they instead be dumb enough to put them in a room with a drop ceiling? (Maybe they're in a hurry, don't usually have prisoners, and don't think about the ceiling much for that reason.) Just have Our Heroes crawl over the rafters instead. And then maybe they find that someone decided to move some walls around without consulting a structural engineer, and has sawed through some important supports without sistering them properly, and so yet again we go tumbling onto the conference table...
On a side note, why aren't there more contractor heroes? They would know all sorts of handy McGuyvering skills, and where to punch the wall so everything falls down, and they would have a built-in team of sidekicks with their subs (It's Wiring Woman! Run!). Plus, your contractor can look like this and still be true to life, which should make media executives happy. And some real-life contractors are like contractor superheroes, saving Canada from renovations gone wrong.
...okay, I'll stop babbling now.
2) Those magic lighter-activated fire sprinklers
Our Hero stands on a chair and holds a lighter up to a single fire sprinkler, causing every single fire sprinkler in the building to start gushing water. Uh-huh. Actually, at least in these parts, fire sprinklers are designed not to turn on their neighbors: only the sprinkler heated past a certain temperature will activate. Furthermore, unless your lighter puts out enough heat to fuse a little link at around 150F or so (depending on the specific type of installation), you're SOL.
This could be a lot of fun. Our Heroes, expecting things to work like the movies, whip out a chair and a lighter... and are standing there looking like idiots as the bad guys run up. Then they get captured, or run like hell and have an amusing escape anyway, or whatever.
Or maybe they know a bit and have a blowtorch. If they're only trying to turn on specific sprinklers, they can do so and make cracks about how lucky they are not to be stuck with nothing but a lighter. If they're still expecting it to turn on every sprinkler in the building, they can be comically surprised when they're the only ones who get wet.
Or maybe they know exactly how it's supposed to work, but some fool has rigged things so every sprinkler goes off. Now they're responsible for a lot of water damage they didn't intend, and possibly in ways which might hinder their escape - during which they can be yelling, "But that's not how it works! Who does that!" Meanwhile, Evil Inc.'s CEO is cackling and handing his pet contractor a bag of money...
What are your pet peeves, and how would you change them while keeping the drama?
